Willkommen in Berlin

Den Ersten Tag:

Lufthansa flight 8826 from Washington Dulles to Frankfurt, DE was dreadfully uneventful. I was sandwiched (no window seat for neck support, no aisle seat for bladder support) between Flannery and Jill. Having been out of practice for a considerable amount of time, I had secretly hoped to have the opportunity to sprechen Deutsch with a native speaker for the duration of the flight. We were served dinner at an altitude of 36,000 feet (10.972,8 m). I enjoyed warm turkey, fruit, cheese, chocolate pudding with white chocolate shavings, several glasses of wine and Bailey’s, Kaffee, Orangenzaft, green beans, and a dark-orange substance later identified (by Brian) as mashed squash. There was a two-hour layover in Frankfurt, followed by an hour-long flight to Berlin, which of course “flew by” after the 7h40m spent on the other plane. This time, I was seated by das Fenster next to a little girl and her brother. They must have been in between the ages of five and eight. I am not a good judge of things like that. I tried to speak with the little girl, knowing full well that at less than a third of my age, her Deutsch was infinitely more advanced. I inquired about her flight experience, where she was from, and whether or not she got along with her brother, receiving mostly mumbles and shrugs for my efforts. I finally resorted to staring silently out the window, noting somewhat rancorously the fields of white covering the patchwork below, when I was made aware of a cold, wet sensation along the left outline of my body. That Chatty Kathy had spilled apfelzaft on me! What a cruel act of ignominious proportions! She feigned naivety and offered up a feeble apology, but I saw right through her wiley crocodile tears and recognized the incident for what it really was; a despicable, deplorable, dastardly, and deliberate deed of doddery and desperation.

The first thing I noticed when stepping off of the plane in Berlin was that the luggage carousel was 20 feet in front of me instead of being on a separate floor with others. The baggage appeared almost immediately on the conveyor (which had a sensor that stopped the flow so that bags didn’t slide into each other…GENIUS! why don’t we have those???) and all 10 of us had our bags in minutes. We were met by Gisela und Hans, two of the program coordinators. After brief introductions we were divided up between their two vehicles and a VW van taxi. Probably due to my rugged good looks and high level of alertness, I was placed in charge of the taxi caravan and given cab fare. The driver not only failed to acknowledge that he understood my directions, but also failed to speak during the entire drive, even when directly asked several questions.  From his driving I surmised that he was too focused on speeding and tailgating to meddle with the trifling interrogations of Amerikaner Studenten. Nevertheless, we arrived at Hauptstraße 74, the site of our orientation, in one piece. I whoofed down zwei Tassen Kaffee and a fistful of sugar cookies, listened semi-attentively to Hans’ spiel, and ached for fresh air and less confined quarters.

Mercifully, orientation was brief and once again we were divided and shipped to our respective Gastfamilien. I was the first to leave and the first to get dropped off. As we weaved in and out of traffic, making seemingly arbitrary turns down cobblestone streets lined with trees obviously absent of foliage, I had the impression of being escorted as a consulate by military personnel. “The main thoroughfares aren’t safe, your excellency. Our team has secured a route through a more suburban neighborhood,” I heard Hans say through clenched teeth as he white-knuckled the steering wheel. His eyes darted with vicious determination. After parking he guided me to the proper address. I was warmly greeted by Claudia, meine Gastmutter. Hans left and I was offered a tour of the house. I don’t have the time here to adequately describe it, so I will only state that it is absolutely one of the most beautiful and warm homes I’ve ever had the privilege of being in, and will try to supplement this bold claim with pictures at a later date. I also met mein Gastvater, Wolfgang, and we chatted over Kaffee und Apfelkuchen. They are both friendly, accommodating, generous, amiable, and engaging. I admitted a certain amount of anxiety regarding my level of Deutsch fluency, and despite their smiles and patience got very overwhelmed and frustrated trying to express myself. My ears burned with embarrassment as I was forced to ask them to repeat themselves time and time again. They were enviably understanding and patient, and even complimentary of my vocabulary and pronounciation. Though convinced of their sincerity, I was overall very displeased with my speaking ability. I did, however, manage to understand them better than I give myself credit for. Their questions, posed auf Deutsch, were generally answered in up to 80% Englisch. It makes me even more determined to learn, though. Other highlights of the day include grocery shopping with Claudia and Videokamera shopping mit Wolfgang und Jakob, their 18 year old son. I have taken a liking to him as well (sein Englisch ist near-perfekt). He invited me to go clubbing with him, but I retired to bed early after an outstanding meal of pork, potatoes, and seasoned vegetables. I feel great.